Getting cycling purchases past your wife
I’m sure that I’m not alone here when I state my conundrum. I go to a bikeshop and make a impulse purchase on a new set of wheels or whatever my cycling related need of the month is. The problem is getting that bike part that you got a such great deal on home and past the wife. Here are the following techniques I’ve come up with to help soften the blow:
– Buy online and get the goods shipped to work. This way you can ride to work and slowly, one by one, put those new parts on the bike and ride home like nothing ever happened. Then you can bring those old junky parts home one day and when your wife says "where did those come from?", you can say "ahh…just some old crappy stuff that John gave me".
– Say you successfully smuggle the new parts back home and camoflauge them in with the rest of all your bike junk in your spare bedroom. This may not be the end of it. What do you do when the credit card statement comes in and there’s that damn www.cheapbikeparts.com $1000 purchase on there. Having a secret credit card for this has obvious advantages, but not worth the risk if you’re caught. I sometimes try to get a friend to order the stuff for me to save on shipping costs and to avoid this problem all together. Alternatively, you can blame most of the charges on a riding mate saying to your wife "most of the purchase were Andy’s. Just a couple tyres are mine and we went in together to save on shipping ". Blaming a riding buddy can come in handy on many occasions, such as why you were home 3hrs later than you said you’d be.
– Plant the seed early. Tell your wife that the new set of wheels that you want are gonna be $5k, so let’s start saving. This initially sets off an explosive reaction, but you’ve done nothing wrong, so you’re not in the doghouse quite yet. At this point she’s stressing about this extremely expensive set of wheels that you’re going to whine about until you get. When you finally go and spend $2k on a set of wheels, this looks like an amazing deal. This technique can work magic sometimes. Use sparingly.
– Sometimes desparate measures need to be employed. This is when you buy the wife a gift that’s just as expensive and lavish as the new Calnago frame that you just bought. This will now cost you $12k, but if you can find one of them at a really good bargain you might be a bit ahead of the game. A vacation to Cuba where you both can go and you can use your new purchase would be a good choice.
These are just a few of the ways I’ve come up with to get those stupidly expensive bike parts past the accountant of the house. I’d be interested hearing your strategies and tactics in the comments section. ;-)