Life Tips For Gerro

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gerroI’m not sure if anyone noticed but Gerro stopped by Cycling Tips last week and left a comment.   Presumably Gerro was Googling the search terms “Stage Win Vuelta Cycling Tips” and he eventually ended up here (actually, I asked him to stop by).   He also jumped on the opportunity to plug is own blog as he may feel like he’s not getting enough media these days and is trying to hijack my readers.  Very cheeky.  Anyway, here’s what he had to say:

Congrats on a great web-site and thank you! I now have a place to go when I’m in need of some tips or advice on anything to do with cycling, or life in general. Also thanks to everyone for their words of encouragement following my win last weekend in Plouay.
See you all in a few months,

Thanks for stopping by and commenting Gerro.  Unfortunately I doubt that I can give you too many Cycling Tips that’ll help you through the Vuelta, but I can certainly offer some life tips as you say. A great place to start is by giving advice for you as a cyclist after you get married.  Trust me, I’d veer away from taking tips from Lance on this topic.  Here are a few tips on how to balance your cycling with long healthy marriage:

  • When arriving home 3hrs late from a ride always blame it on your mates.  Something like “Thor crashed again and we had to take him to the hospital”, or “Carlos bonked and I had to drag him home – took forever…”.  It’s NEVER your fault.  You can bet they’re using you as a scapegoat and it’s best you do the same.
  • No matter how much money you make your wife will always scrutinize your bike related purchases.  Even at the beginning of the season at team presentation when SKY gives you a truckload of new kit and bikes.  You’ll come home all excited with this new stuff and your wife will be standing at the door with her arms crossed.  “Was getting that TT bike really necessary? You had two last year!  Look at this place – there’s Cervelos everywhere!”.  Get used to it.  She is the all mighty CFO of your little organization.
  • There may be the occasional time where sponsors aren’t throwing equipment your way and you really really “need” a new set of wheels for example.  Never just go out and buy these wheels and come home with them.  This will put you in the dog house quicker than you can say “Zipp”.  The sales cycle needs to last a couple of months.  The first thing you do is plant the seed.  Use the old trick telling her that these wheels are gonna set us back $5k.  It’ll be disruptive at first but she’ll get over it.  After she’s had a bit of time to digest the idea you tell her that you’ve found them for $3k and it’s a mega-bargain. She’ll agree and tell you to jump a the opportunity as you’re actually saving $2k.
  • When trying to take your wife out on a ride you gotta stay focused.  When you’re out there enjoying your time together and Lance and Levi rock up behind you, you gotta give them the flick.  There’s nothing she’ll hate more that a nice romantic ride turning into a boys club hammer session.  More on riding with your wife here.
  • Even though it is your job, when you want to take off for a 3 week Grand Tour there’s some negotiations that’ll still need to take place.  A nice beach vacation to Seychelles afterwards will do the trick.
  • On the topic of taking a holiday with your wife, this brings up the contentious issue of bringing your bike on vacation.   Trust me, even bringing up the idea of taking your bike with you on your romantic holiday will put you in the doghouse.  Don’t even think about it.  Keep bike trips and wife trips completely separate.
  • Even on that glorious day when you win your first Spring Classic, be prepared – there will be mixed emotions. You’ll come home all rapped saying “Honey, look at this trophy!  I just won Amstel Gold!” and she’ll say, “that’s wonderful Dear. Now quit messing around and put that big ugly thing in the closet with all the rest. You’ve been gone all morning and there’s still tonnes of chores that need to be done”
  • Oh, and those grease stains on your livingroom carpet in Manaco – you’d better clean up your act.  They become a bigger issue after you’re married.

Good luck from all of us at the Vuelta Gerro.  Stages 4, 6, 8 and 9 were made for you.  Let’s see you get a stage win at all 3 Grand Tours.  Also, looking forward to seeing you in Team SKY colors next year. Go get em!

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