The Cyclist’s Disclaimer
Photo by James Broadway. BTW, congratulations to James for having a new baby girl this week!
Cyclist are a peculiar bunch. We can’t let a ride just be a ride. It’s impossible for any of us to admit that a bad day on the bike is due to anything but external circumstance that we have not control over. We all do it. At the beginning of a ride we lay out at least one disclaimer of why we’re not going so well. If it weren’t for this disclaimer you’d be inflicting all sorts of pain on the rest of your mates, so they should consider themselves lucky.
It’s not PRO to rock up and announce to everyone “I’m on fire guys, watch out!”. It’s all about lowering expectations. This way if you pull a magical ride out of your ass you’ll look like superstar. “Just imagine how I would have smashed it if I was on form!” you can say. However, if you really do ride as pathetically as you said you were going to, then you’ve already laid that on the table. You can’t lose.
Here are the top 13 disclaimers that I hear (and give) on a regular basis:
- “I’m coming back from a stomach virus” (every PRO is always getting over a stomach virus)
- “I haven’t ridden my bike in weeks”
- “I’ve ridden 1000km in the past week!”
- “I can’t get my heartrate up so I’m gonna take it easy”
- “My position feels strange today. I couldn’t generate my usual wattage”
- “I’m over my racing weight”
- “I’m on a recovery ride”
- “I’m creeping”
- “I didn’t eat breakfast”
- “I ate too much breakfast”
- “I didn’t have my morning coffee yet” (my personal favorite)
- “I’m on my heavy training bike today”
- “I’m so hungover. I was out until 4am partying but I was still able to meet up this morning”
Last night I raced and used the good ol’ “I’ve got a stitch” excuse. Worked like a charm when I mucked up the sprint. ;-)
I leave you with a video that was sent to me last night that will surely inspire you to get out on the bike this weekend:
Have a great weekend, ride hard and ride safe.