The cyclocross season is upon us! As we are getting ready for the World Cup opener in Las Vegas, it’s high time to polish the cowbells and stretch the vocal cords.
Whether you’re spectating live or tuned in behind your TV or computer, here are some heckling tips to sharpen your sideline jeering skills and get in the ‘cross spirit.
Open a cold saison or tripel and let’s get started!
“For me, the best heckles are well-crafted jokes- it’s like I am at a roast and my “slowness” is the fodder for all the jokes,” says heckle-loving pro cyclocrosser, Georgia Gould. “Crafting a good heckle takes some creativity, and some people “get it” more than others.
“Ride faster!” or “You suck!” isn’t going to cut it
“Sure, I’ve gotten plenty of the generic “you suck!” heckles but I don’t think that is so funny or creative. I don’t mind though because I think sometimes people need to figure out what works and what doesn’t,” says Gould.
Not at the race? You can heckle via Twitter
“Some of the funniest heckles I’ve gotten have been over Twitter,” says Gould. “It’s a fun thing to read through after a race.”
Don’t know where to start? Here are some of Gould’s favourites
– “You don’t need a timing chip, you need a sundial!”
– “The only time you were called fast was by your prom date!”
– “You are so slow the only place you have racers following you is on Twitter!”
– “Too bad the time change was last weekend, you’d probably podium if you could spring forward an hour!”
– “You’re like a Ben folds song- sad and slow!”
– “I thought gluing tubular tires was the slowest thing in cyclocross, but now I know it’s you!”
Should riders heckle back?
“Unless you [as a racer] truly are going really, really slowly, there isn’t much time for that in a race. But if you are talented enough to come up with witty rejoinders during a race, by all means HECKLE BACK!” says Gould.
The UCI Cyclocross World Championships takes place on Saturday and Sunday, Jan. 30-31 (local time) in Belgium. The UCI is providing live coverage via their YouTube channel but American will have to watch it using a VPN. Shifting her focus back on the mountain bike, Georgia Gould has decided to skip worlds this year, despite her great performance at the US National Cyclocross Championships.