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  • jules

    is that a donut in the photo?

    • santiagobenites

      Did somebody say donut?

      • lauren o’keefe

        There’s s doughnut? Where? Where?!


  • lauren o’keefe

    Thank you for this. Today of all days when I stepped on the scales and went woah! that’s not a good number. Good to know I’m not alone.

  • Rowena

    Well done for sharing and I hope the rest of your journey is successful. Best of luck to anyone who is battling with weighing themselves and hey, bin night is every week…. it took me three months to throw the scales out. It then took a hell of a lot of time to not count calories and to eat what I wanted and to learn to listen to my body.

    Dr Linda Bacon is an excellent resource for anyone battling with Health at Every Size, basically the non diet approach to health.

  • Neil_Robinson

    “part of my self esteem will forever be tied to the Strava time I post and the number I see on the scale”

    that’s me in a nutshell.

    • Simon Wile


  • Waltzing Raynolds

    Absolutely throw your scales in the trash … Nothing positive ever comes from that number, which does not reflect muscle/ fat/ hormonal monthly changes and so on!! Unless you are training for a significantly hot rate and are trying to test your sweat rates get rid of that shit directly!

  • jules

    a good compromise is to target weight loss at points in time. for me, it’s key climbing races. for others, it may be summer. trying to maintain an ideal weight at all times is almost guaranteed to fail.

    and yes, I’m probably missing some key points on eating disorders.

  • bigstu_

    Thanks for sharing, and you are not alone.
    If you have concerns about how your weight and nutrition affects your performance on the bike then celebrate – you have crossed over that invisible line from ‘Exerciser’ to ‘Bike Rider’.
    I’ve never met a rider, of either gender, who was serious about cycling as a competitive sport, that didn’t share your struggle.
    But improvements in performance can be achieved in ways other than counting calories, or equating calories to body mass.
    There is more than one way to skin a cat and many a race has been won by the craftiest, not the skinniest.
    Clever training (mesocycles and macrocycles) and setting medium term goals rather than a too frequently ridden Strava sector will help you develop physiologically and improve your outlook.
    p.s. and if you ever feel like self abuse, I prescribe a week or two in the mountains. All at once, guaranteed mucho pain, weight loss, performance gains and food frenzy opportunities.
    And as always, enjoy the ride.

  • Nicole Selstad Eikenberry

    Bravo for putting your story out there! So often people feel like they are the only one struggling or stuck! I am a registered dietitian nutritionist who specializes in mindful and intuitive eating from a weight-inclusive, body-acceptance platform, helping smart strong women improve their relationship with food and their body and advocating for food and body autonomy (oh, and mountain biking is my passion!) I second the recommendation for Linda Bacon (Health at Every Size, Body Respect) and would also suggest Intuitive Eating, by Tribole/Resch. There are so many good resources out there! I’m happy to point you to more if you’d like! Nicole @ mindful food & motion. Thanks and happy trails!????

  • Paul van den Broek

    A Dutch female rider, Leontien van Moorsel, had anorexia. She has set up an organisation to help other people with eating disorders called: Het Leontienhuis. http://www.leontienhuis.nl/. Unfortunately it is in Dutch. She was the best rider of her time with 4 x times Olympic champignon on the road.

    • Teezy

      Chrome browser > RIght click on page > “translate to English.”

      • Paul van den Broek


  • ac

    No velodrome nearby ? Track cycling is the best way too improve, it’s fun and after a 2hours session you won’t feel guilty to have some donuts

  • Kinetic

    Really good read and it certainly resonates with me, even if I am male. I’ve been logging my food with myfitnesspal and also have my strava account connected so I can get a somewhat accurate daily accounting system for my calories. I log all food intake, regardless of whether it’s been a good or bad day. I soon found what was working and what wasn’t in terms of weight loss while maintaining good energy levels for cycling.

    Like yourself, I weigh myself in the morning. Pretty much at the same time every day… after waking up and going to the toilet (whether it be #1/#2/both). I track my weight on myfitnesspal and it does go up/down but mostly trending down. Those off days with my food intake can be tough but I dust myself off and start again the next day. Not everything I eat has been setup by somebody within myfitnesspal so I’ll choose something in there that’s close and go with that. Recording calorie intake for multi ingredient dinners can be tricky compared to say, a piece of fruit but again I’ll choose something close to what I’ve eaten and over estimate the portion on there just to be safe.

    Weighing yourself in the evening is probably something avoid. 1) it’s not good for your mental health as you may beat yourself up over a bad day and 2) you’ve consumed calories throughout the day to fuel your body for 24 hours so there’s no point in beating yourself up over weight in the evening when it could have balanced out while you slept. Even if there are more ups than downs in a week, you should look at your average over the week rather than taking 1 day on it’s own.

  • markpa

    I haven’t lived the journey so am reticent to add my 2c worth. But you already know “my self esteem will forever be tied to the Strava time I post and the number I see on the scale” is not the truth you need to hold.
    Whether it’s age, injury, motivation, … at some time that Strava number will start to dip and it says nothing about you.
    My niece batted an eating disorder for a number of years, and thankfully she’s in a much better place now.
    You may find http://recoveryisnevereasy.tumblr.com/ of value.

  • elbearo

    Wow, this resonates so much for me…Thanks for sharing.

  • sevenaxiom1

    “I have accepted the fact that some part of my self esteem will forever be tied to the Strava time”
    I can completely relate to your story, but my feelings about Strava have been forever changed. I will not let my Strava use harm my mental well-being and know that it is a choice, not a necessity to be in a community. I had to stop using it completely when I lost fitness. I didn’t need to be reminded every day that other women were getting QOM’s, making podiums in local races, or hanging with the fastest group rides. It was a huge daily beating that my self esteem couldn’t handle. If I wasn’t strong, fast, or thin, who was I? I even stopped riding completely for 18 months when my weight increased and my performance dramatically decreased. I buckled from the pressure I put on myself to be fast and competitive. It was only when I came to understand that I am not my performance, nor my results, that I started to ride again. Without Strava, I began racing again last year, but with the attitude that I’m here to have fun. I hope to do well, but no longer push myself with podium or QOM goals. Instead, I pursue other interests in addition to riding (cooking, art, poetry, etc.), building a balanced self esteem rather than having it all based on speed and weight. I went back to Strava because my team asked me to do so, but I shut off all notifications about QOM’s lost. I don’t even look at the details of friends when I go on, I just give kudos down the list. I still have the food conversation in my head but focus on eating healthy and balanced rather than being skinny. I hope that it will get quieter over time. Best of luck to you in your journey.

  • 2wheelsandme

    Doughnut yes! I also struggle, food is good. I am North East USA sometimes tough winters.. so I usually take a break for 3-4 months indulge then try to get back to my best “Ratio” it gets harder and harder through the years, but that being said, by mid summer I’m usually in great form and in the top ten of my age group on Strava segments. I weigh myself every morning and record it on a calendar this helps you understand what affects your gains and loss’s. If you can interpret the data you can predict where you will be and fine tune adjustments. In years past I have ignored the scale, but the scale is that honest friend you need. The one that tells you how it is, no sugar coating…wait doughnuts can have sugar coating!

  • roklando

    I’m off for a burrito.


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