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March 30, 2020
All credit for the creation and production of the Tour de Quarantine goes to race announcer Brad Sohner, who gave us permission to post this bit of genius. Follow Brad on Twitter and keep an eye out for the coming stages of the Tour de Quarantine.
After lurking just out of frame for much of the race, Questionable Bike Share User spread his wings and flew to victory in stage 7 of the Tour de Quarantine, leaving his Tinder date behind in the process.
The expected showdown between Lady On Ebike and Guy In Orange never materialized, and instead it was Team Bike Share that hit out early on the sweetly twisting slopes of Passo Stevia. After gaining separation, Questionable Bike Share User briefly waited for Bike Share User’s Tinder Date, but in the end he was forced to continue on alone. It was a classic racing paradox – the decision to leave his Tinder teammate behind made Questionable Bike Share User both the winner and the loser on the day.
Our own Caley Fretz caught up with the victorious rider following the stage. “Things were going well before, we had Netflix in my apartment,” he said, looking defeated despite his win. “But drop her on the climb? Yikes.”
Guy In Orange led Lady On Ebike across the line in 3rd and 4th, taking two seconds out of his rival for the overall lead. Jimmy Johns Delivery once again snuck into 5th, but lost nearly a minute in the process.
As always, click the video above for highlights from the final kilometers.
1. Questionable Bike Share User
2. Bike Share User’s Tinder Date at 5″
3. Guy In Orange at 26″
4. Lady On Ebike at 28″
5. Jimmy Johns Delivery Guy at 1’25”