Dear Santa, please have all bike brands copy Brompton bike hire

Give the reindeers a year off, hire a Brompton with a Christmas voucher.

by Ronan Mc Laughlin

photography by Brompton

Dear Santa,

My name is Ronan, and I still believe. I can’t wait for Christmas, and I have been as good as can be this year. I would like you to fix it so that all bike companies will be more like Brompton.

Please don’t make it that all bikes are folding, that would be an awful lot of work for all you elves. Please just have all bike companies do Brompton’s bike hire.

You see Santa, Brompton offers bikes on hire for 24hours, right up to thirty days. I don’t even need you to bring me a Brompton hire bike. Costing as little as £5 a year membership and £5 per day to hire(frequent users), I can even afford that myself with my pocket money. I’m no accountant, but that seems pretty cheap to hire such fancy bikes.

So Santa, instead of bringing me a bike, please bring me the choice of loads of bikes (and active travel to help the environment) from every brand.

I know what Mrs Claus and the elves might say, “how can that possibly work?” Well, Santa, I have spoken to Brompton, and they tell me they have more than fifty Brompton hire locations across the UK. While I accept this is not ideal for your global audience of bike-loving children, perhaps your elves can spend the time saved on not building me an actual bike to expand this scheme worldwide?

I know this is an exceedingly long letter but stick with me on this, and I’ll make sure there is an extra Guinness left out for you on Christmas Eve.

Santa, it gets better! Until Christmas, Brompton is making its hire bike scheme even better. You see, Brompton is offering longer-term loan vouchers as a gift idea, but I think you could treat yourself. You work so hard one night a year; you earned it Santa!

With a three-month loan bike for £150, six months for £270, and a full year for £420, perhaps you can give the reindeer next year off on the naughty and nice checks? Better yet, these rental bikes all have breakdown cover, I know some of the bikes your elves built me in the past really should have had breakdown cover. I’m sorry Santa, that was mean, I know I broke some of those bikes, but Brompton has me covered to with free theft and accidental damage insurance.

Brompton can also help you out Santa, it will deliver hire bikes anywhere in the UK. Once they deliver it, the boys and girls can take the bike anywhere. Think of the extra miles per carrot Rudolf could fly if every brand shipped its bikes for you.

I know this is a Christmas-only deal and the bikes are refurbished, but refurbishing bikes is great and I really want you to ask your industry liaison elves to get other brands to even just to do the regular Brompton hire bike scheme. Then I could hire all kinds of bikes. I could hire a Brompton for days in the big city with Daddy, and road bikes for summer when we go on the Tour of France. I could hire a mountain bike for mountaining and a race bike for school sports day. I could try all these bikes with just my pocket money.

Thank you Santa for making it this far in my letter. I know you are very busy, but I think it is important you know Brompton bikes are cool, and even more importanter that you know Brompton bike hire is even cooler.

Merry Christmas

PS. We already have enough balance bikes in the house, how much balancing can one girl do?

PPS. I once raced a Brompton for £10,000 winner takes all prize. I didn’t win. Maybe you could bring me ten grand also? Pretty please.

Editors' Picks